We make our own problems

I never cease to feel incredulous when I see how we create our own problems, especially when I catch myself doing it.

There was something I wanted to do but I kept stopping myself because I was feeling negative. Just couldn’t get in the mood. Finally I decided to do it anyway and afterwards I thought to myself, “that wasn’t so bad. Perhaps I even slightly enjoyed it.” So why the resistance?

The way to deal with your resistance, I have learned, is not to fight it but to acknowledge it and then choose acceptance. That way your resistance becomes your best friend because, when you realise what you are doing, the resistance acts like a huge signpost saying, “focus your attention here.” Many a time I have hesitated because of fear, realised what I was doing and then “felt the fear and done it anyway” and afterwards asked myself, “what was all the fuss about? It wasn’t so scary after all.”

In case of misunderstanding, let’s quickly get this in proportion. I’m not suggesting when you stand at the top of the cliff at Beachy┬áHead contemplating suicide you should “feel the fear and do it anyway.” I’m referring to those times when you realise that unreasonable or unjustifiable fear is stopping you from taking an action that will make your life better.

4 Responses to “We make our own problems”

  1. Dorothy Says:

    So true; so why did you just now get it, smile?

  2. Karrie Says:

    Its generally the little things that fear really controls. But the little things all grouped together make the big things in life. After reading Susan Jeffers book “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway,” I realized that I didn’t want to be the type of person who lets fear get in the way. But its always a struggle to not let it get in the way. Thanks for the great post.

    • lifeloveandlaundry Says:

      Hi Karrie,

      Thanks for your comment. I take your point absolutely.

      The only solution: Raise your awareness of what goes on in your unconscious mind so you can see your saboteur coming over the hill and act before he arrives. Sometimes I say to myself, “I want to do so and so but I have resistance becuase it seems too scary. Am I going to let that fear stop me?”

      If the fear seems unfounded, and if the thing I want to do really means a lot to me, the answer will be a resounding “No.” It’s no use trying to deny the fear. Better to acknowledge it so you don’t have to fight it, and then move on.

  3. Dave Robson Says:

    Hi Dorothy,

    Sorry for late reply. IT problem with my PC, now resolved.

    Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Sometimes we only get it in hindsight. That’s why we need to raise our awareness of what we do as much as poss. – so we relaise what we’re doing (or avoiding)

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